Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
