Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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