you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
