i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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