I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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