last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize