hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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