Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
