Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
