Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
