no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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