did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
