Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
