She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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