Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
