OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
