I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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