You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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