I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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