so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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