You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
