imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
