Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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