you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Randomize
