i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Randomize
