quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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