He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I've blown a few things in my day
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
