I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
