whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
im about as happy as oj after his trial
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
