after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
