I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
