What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
