we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
