i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
