Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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