Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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