why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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