Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
