3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
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