This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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