i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
sex in a hospital.. check
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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