pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
