my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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