He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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