note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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