so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
