it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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