I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
