Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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