dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
