Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
