even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
