Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
