Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
