I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
